"Mothers as Nurturers"

Chapter 12 talks about mothers as the nurturers in the home. I interviewed my own mom and other mothers I know in various stages of life about how they felt about their role as a mother. Many of them talked about the importance of staying close to the spirit. They know that as mothers they won’t be perfect, but they can do their best parenting if they have the spirit guiding them. 

Macy Sutherland:

How am I preparing to be a mother?

When I think about becoming a mother so many emotions come over me, I feel extreme happiness, excitement, overwhelmed, and scared. I first have been preparing by making sure that my relationship with our Heavenly Father is strong so that my son can rely on me when he is struggling. It is amazing to think about bringing a special little spirit into this world and being trusted to raise them righteously, but it also takes a lot of hard work. I have been preparing mentally by asking mothers that I know to share their experiences with me so that I can be the very best. Emotionally I am also preparing, because I know that there will be times that I feel like I am inadequate and like everyone around me is doing a better job, but I have to recognize that it is Satan who wants me to feel this way.   

Do you plan on raising your children in the Gospel? Why?

I don't see any other way then raising them in the Gospel. I want them to be prepared for whatever is thrown at them and through the Gospel is the only way. I want them to see that I have a testimony so that overtime they will develop their own. When trials arise I want them to know that they are never alone, and all they have to do is pray to their Heavenly Father. 

Cinda Craig:

Here are the questions followed by my answers.
How do you feel about your role as a mother?

It is my favorite role!  I always wanted to be a mom and have lots of kids. One of my favorite books when I was young was The Family Nobody Wanted. The couple in the story adopted 12 children. So becoming a mother was an important goal for me. I always felt I was doing a very important job and though it was hard I loved it! (Still do!) Yiu cannot overestimate the importance of mothering.
What kind of impact does a mother have on her children’s lives?
A big one!  Which stinks when you know how imperfect you are as a person and as a parent. You can do good, and I always wanted to be a good mother, but it’s hard and I made a lot of mistakes. Which leads right to the last question: Has being a member of the church and having the gospel helped you in your role as a mother?
Help is not a strong enough word!  Without the Holy Ghost to guide and comfort me as a parent I don’t think I could have done it!  The support for mothers through the church has always been huge and played a critical role in allowing me to become a better Latter-day Saint and mother. Support of extended family, in and out of the church, was also critical. Having access to personal revelation and inspiration is life saving and peace giving for mothers. There is no other way to navigate the twists and turns of parenthood. Each child is so different but our Heavenly Father knows each of His children so He can, will and does help us raise the ones we receive.

Michelle Flint:

My role as a mother is my favorite role, second only to being a wife. As a young girl, I dreamed of getting married and having a family. It was more important to me than education, travel, or a career. Because I was the oldest of seven children, I became my mother's "right hand man" and was front and center to her role as a mother. So when I became a mother, it was completely natural to me and I was well prepared. I just followed her example! I've never had fear with fulfilling my role, but many sleepless nights of worry and concern for the health, well-being and safety of my children. I have been a mother now for almost 35 years and I have never regretted having children for one moment. I have loved being a mother and have considered it a blessing and an honor that Heavenly Father entrusted four of his precious children to my care. Mothering has been my life's greatest work, my greatest source of happiness.

There is really no way to measure the impact of a mother in her children's lives. It is immeasurable and invaluable. My mother passed away at age 49, leaving 7 children behind. Three of us were married, four were still young and living at home. When my mother was alive, our family was happy, stable, solid, and fully-functioning. Although my father was a good man professionally, a great bishop, and the head of our home, after my mother died, there was something important missing. All six of my siblings struggled in one way or another. There were eating disorders, depression, anxiety, drug and alcohol abuse, unhealthy relationships, divorces, inactivity in the church, financial problems, illnesses, jail time and court time. One brother actually blamed God for mom's death and joined the Catholic Church. Another brother was homeless for a period of time. Two of my sisters passed away, each at age 40 from problems that developed as a direct result of my mother's death. I believe the father is the head of the family but the mother is the neck that turns the head. Mothers are born with an innate sense of nurturing and care-giving and unconditional love. Mothers are the family glue!

Being a member of the church and having the gospel has been the reason I claim any success as a mother. I cannot imagine raising children without gospel principles - without primary songs and stories, activity days, scouts, young women values, the oath and covenant of the priesthood, Sacrament meeting, Sabbath Day observance, Family Home Evening, Family Prayer, scripture study, baptisms, endowments, temple attendance, Relief Society, and the atonement. The atonement is what has allowed me as a parent and my children to make mistakes, correct them, learn from them, and be rescued from the pain and suffering of consequences.

Many of my friends say they wish there was a handbook for parenting. There is!  I'm so grateful for The Family: A Proclamation To The World that has been my guide as a mother. "Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live...Successful families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities...Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. There's the parenting handbook right there! The gospel of Jesus Christ offers everything we need to know about marriage and family life and I suspect my family would be lost without it.